Confession time, I am one big "fidget"
Honestly, can't sit still for a second. In fact I'm pretty much bloody restless at all times. So when somebody pointed me towards Fidget Cube, I thought "Ace, finally a useless middle-class gadget I can get behind".
I know it's pointless, I know it is a waste of money. Still bought one though. Not a real one, a knock-off. Cost me 99p and probably the soul of a child labourer. But in doing so I have entered some weird cult.
A new divisive sect in society. Apparently you either Fidget or you don't. You can't be in the middle, you have to be one or the other. The "fidgets" are seen as annoying, compulsive, self-centred, restless and never happy. The "others" are content, centred, cautious and boring.
I married an "other".
How did I not see this before. When we watch TV, she sits and watches TV. She doesn't play with her phone all the time, she doesn't pick her nose and fiddle with her ears or play with her hair. She sits. Watching. Waiting. And getting increasingly annoyed at my Fidget.
Occasionally her annoyance at my Fidget explodes and makes me instantly regret my dirty little habit.
But instead of stopping, I decided I would indulge. Secretly.
I bought my fidget cube for work, because, at work it takes a very bold colleague to tell you to stop being a "Fidget". And even if they did I would just be like "This is me, I'm a fidget, deal with it."
Normally as I type, I would have a pen in one hand. I don't write down the words. I don't use the pen to hit keys it just sits in my hand like the picture to the left
It's pointless, it probably slows my typing speed, but it means that if I need to "Fidget", if I need to twizzle the pen, or click the top or unscrew the bottom I can. This was my first "Fidget device". Unbeknown to me, this was my first acceptance that I was a "Fidget". But it was quiet and hidden away. But I won't hide it any longer.
"I am Fidget, and I am Proud. Join the Fidgolution!"
Well...except at home
I mean come on you have to respect "others" too. It isn't their fault they can't "Fidget", I guess they just weren't born that way. They will never know the Joy of a jumping knee, or a tapped table. The pure sensation of a twiddled hair or a chewed finger nail and yes even the equal parts of disgust and child-like happiness a little ball of flickable snot can bring you.